Thurs 28th - sun 31st

Thursday
I had a day at home today as the car was in for a service. I find when I am home for a full day I end up going to the pantry and fridge more often. I seem to just do it out of habit, not because I am hungry or maybe I am hoping something yummy and delicious will suddenly appear after the 4th check.
Half hr on the treadmill today

Friday
Tonight we go out for dinner and have decided to have Japanese. It is reasonably healthy if you don't choose the Teriyaki Duck. I like it as a change to the Chinese as afterwards I don't feel as heavy.
During the day I had a Weight Watchers soup for lunch to try and keep it light to save for dinner and maybe sweets.

Pm:
Japanese restaurant was fully booked so we had to find somewhere else. We usually don't book and never had a problem before. It put a bit of a spanner in the works because I had worked out roughly what we could order that was within our 'food budget'. We found a place that had a bit of everything on the menu and chose a Seafood Marinara which I wished I hadn't of ordered as it was really buttery. I mentally divided the plate in half and only ate half. After dinner we walked a bit and then bought a small fruit sorbet.
Not too bad overall compared to past choices as usually we wouldn't think too much about what we ordered and then it would take all week for me to work off one nights splurge.

Saturday
The kids and I had another day out at the beach, driving down The Great Ocean Road.
After a swim we had salad sandwiches and water. The kids got ice cream on the way home and I had a couple of spoons from my daughters one with just a drink instead.
No exercise

Sunday (happy b'day ma)
Had already planned to go see my mum but found out she was busy so was at a loss as what to do. We ended up driving to Chadstone shopping Centre to keep out of the heat for the afternoon.
I shouldn't have but I tried on some clothes and felt yuk after the whole change room scene and nothing I had taken in with me had looked any good and was a fair way off getting past my chest!
Oh well, I know.. keep at it.
Lunch: I went the safe choice and ordered the subway again however on the way home we had Mc Donalds. I had the chicken tandoori wrap and diet coke.
45 minutes exercise

Weigh in Wednesday

We have been away for two days spending time at the beach which comes with its temptations. Since I was a young girl I can remember hot summer days walking to the fish n' chip shop for $2 mix. Going to the local pool meant fish n' chips for lunch. Day trip to the beach; Fish n' chips and ice creams. So here I am all of 33 years old and still when I hit the sand and see the surf there is never a question 'whats for lunch', it's straight to the local chippy. Ok here is honestly what I would normally order to the point where I could say 'the usual':

• 1 Fish


• Chips


• 1 Battered hot dog


• 1-2 Potato cakes


• maybe a dim sim


• 1 Corn dog


• all with chicken salt & sauce on the side!

My arteries ache just typing all of this out. Still for me to not have fish n' chips at the beach is like not having an umbrella in the rain. Yes you can do without it but its much nicer with it.
There I was standing at the counter gazing up at the board realizing there really isn't anything 'healthy' other than the hamburgers minus the buns and the meat!
I decided to get:

• A small chips to share and only have some


• 1 grilled piece of fish & lemon


• 1 bottle of water
  

And that was all.. I know I shouldn't have even walked into the shop however, I knew if I didn't give in to the craving I would probably have eaten twice as much later anyway or gone through KFC. (sad but very true)

My other choices while away were okay, the next day I went and ordered a salad roll instead. Lately I have noticed that I feel full quicker than usual. Must keep watching my portion size when ordering out. We tend to go out a lot for lunch or dinners and take the kids to drive ins, parks, the city etc so it really is hard to be good all the time. This is why I need to be more organised with preparing food before hand or thinking ahead instead of when I am looking at a menu or stuck for ideas for lunch. Baby steps all the way...

Negitive: I only exercised twice

Positive: I weighed in and have lost point 8 this week.

Week 2

After a computer melt down, finally I write again. Have to say it probably won't flow as well now that I have to catch up on 4 days!

Wednesday

I caught up with my friend at a shopping centre and ate from the food court which has to be one of my worst places to eat from. I decided to go with subway and ordered a 6 inch w/meal roast chicken. (no cheese, just salad & sweet chilli sce) I managed to eat it slower than normal while sipping on a bottle of water. I did however have a bite from one of the kids choc chip cookies that was left over but managed to stop at that and throw the rest in the rubbish. Phew, not so bad this time.

Thursday WEEK 2

My moods are all over the place & feeling pretty down today (oh to be a female!) and have no idea why. I have had a good couple of days but seem to just have no drive today.
Managed to do only half hour exercise, slack I know but better than sitting on my butt.
Every time I saw my reflection in a shop window or car reflection, I kept thinking 'gee girl you got a way to go yet'. I know I am just sabotaging my efforts and need to stop it.

Another reason could be due the fact that I found myself in a change room trying on bathers! Eeek
Much to my procrastination I had to do it and it wasn't pretty let me tell you..
Why?
I had rushed into our local plaza to the supermarket and on the way out noticed a stand with two ladies promoting swimming lessons. Two minutes of chatting with them and I had signed up my 20 month old daughter for a class first thing Monday morning. I had wanted to sign her up from 6 months old but put it off due to my own body issues. It's bad enough holding myself back but to hold her back from learning experiences isn't fair sooo that is how I came to standing in front of a full length not very flattering mirror.
Will wake up feeling better tomorrow I am sure. x

:(

had typed out two posts and ready to save when I lost connection... not sure when I will do it again as I need to calm down enough to re type again... agggggh computers!!!

Wooohooo!

I have been going at it slow and steady. Today I didn't want to weight myself knowing I was holding a lot of fluid this month but had to anyway... My first week and I have lost 1.9kg! Yay!
It just goes to show what a few small changes have done.
I just did half hour on the treadmill, nothing yesterday as I was a tad scared after the fall :)

Should have a good day today. I am catching up with a friend for lunch and shopping this afternoon. Glad that I did weigh myself as it has given me a little boost to do the right thing.

Must choose wisely at the food court today!

13.1 kg to go...

Chiro please! Monday Day 8

I finally did it... Today I put my daughter into bed for her afternoon nap and decided to get on the treadmill. I had no idea how long I wanted to do or how long I would last more to the point.

This is going to sound made up but know that sadly it is a true story. I can't believe it happened really, how funny. I was working up a sweat jogging away and thought I was doing pretty well so upped the speed a bit more. Huffing and puffing I was surprised how well I was running that I just took a quick look at my feet on the running belt when in 2.3 seconds I lost my balance and tumbled off the side. I tried to hang on quickly with my left arm while the rest of my body was stretched out to the bottom end of the treadmill where I just had to let go! I am laughing now at the thought and what a sight it must have been.

I managed to fix myself up, dust myself off and get back on the bloody thing. Oh yes, what an athlete I am .. NOT. That will teach me.
All in all it wasn't too bad, I managed to do 4.5 kms, broke a sweat, bruised my shoulder and my pride. *blushing*

Sunday Day 7

Average day today
No exercise.. still! :s

Need to stop from picking at left over food from the kids plates.

Avoid food courts until in the 'zone'. Still not able to totally resist the fatty temptations.

9.30pm
Movies: I took a small packet of popcorn with me and just drank water. Much better this time. I didn't need to really have anything as I had made a really nice chicken & mango dish for dinner.

Aaaah..cravings! Day 6

I had a good day today although I probably should have eaten a bit more. Because I over ate last night I found today I was a bit too careful.
I couldn't stop thinking about chocolate all afternoon. I haven't eaten it for a couple of months now I think.

Tried very hard to distract myself by doing other things. I have (not in any order):

• cleaned the house
• read some of my book
• walked the kids & dog to the park
• went for a drive
• sorted out some photos
• washed some clothes
• drank some water
• Searched the Internet
• Oh & went to a playcentre

On and off I would still find the thoughts of that wicked but ever so tasty, melt in your mouth chocolate, creep into my head. It's just crazy really however I have been feeling a bit down today so maybe my hormones are messing with me, who knows! Grrrrr what more do I need to do? Maybe I need to be hypnotized geeze.. drastic I know.

Bummer

Friday 15th Jan Day 5

I want to be able to say that all was good last night, I do. I started off so well but just fell for the snacks and kept telling myself each one was only 2 weight watcher points. By the end of the night I think they had all added up well beyond 20, where I stopped counting.
Not much to eat today.
Still no exercise.

11pm
Went to a movie & had a small popcorn to share - did well. For dinner we had tepanyaki (please feel free to correct my spelling on that one) no idea how its spelt but know that I ate way too much Again. Each dish comes out so small it is easy to think we are only eating light however they just kept bringing it out. I did have some vegies, does it matter that they were battered?!
How to the Japanese keep such small figures eating all of this.
Going to bed feeling fat and full. Hoping tomorrow is a better day, it has to be...

No Sweat

Well things are moving along okay. I am still yet to exercise unless cleaning two houses is counted? The treadmill is here but too heavy for me to move inside without more help (ugh curse these tuck shop arms)
I have decided I really need to get organised and start to plan meals better. The last minute what are we going to have for dinner plan is not working so good for health choices. So out come all the cook books, pen a paper and hopefully a weekly food plan. I really only concentrate on the dinners as that is my hardest time to be strong, I tend to eat way too big a serve and then go back later for something sweet. Staying up late at night has its draw backs too if I am not careful about what I choose.
The scales say I have lost half a kilo this week so far which is good. I am not getting to crazy about losing big numbers on the scales this time..a loss is a loss. It is all too easy for me to put on 5kg just looking at a pie with sauce!
Have been drinking more water the last few days and feel much better for it. Tonight I have a friend coming to stay and I really hope that I can do the right thing. We are going to gold class movies so the temptations are endless for me there.. popcorn, drinks, choc tops etc. She also loves to have a few champagnes so I am going to have to drink water in between. I tried to shop well, only getting half the snack foods that we normal eat and choosing low fat options where I could with fruit. My love is for the cheese and bikkies with a glass of wine. Okay fingers crossed

Not a good start, but not too bad either

After having a successful day with my food and drink choices I was feeling pretty good. I decided to take the kids to the beach and on the way got them McDonalds. Do I need to say more?
As I was driving there I kept telling myself I didn't need this food anymore, it really has no value, its crap, don't eat it etc etc.. As I got closer to the drive through window, I heard the voice in my head say but maybe just something small will be okay to get you over the hunger, something light. what's a good low points choice, so many things going around in my head when I hear the voice through the speaker. Less than 2 minutes later I am munching on a Tandoori chicken wrap, sipping on a bottle of water. See... not too bad really? Usually I would get a large quater pounder meal and a hot apple pie or sundae.

This is not where it ends though, I am sorry to have to admit. My daughter didn't eat her small fries, so I being the good parent that I am, helped her out. Argh! I kept telling myself STOP eating them, throw them out. My hands kept shoveling them in before the mind battle was over. Not good I know so in the hopes to somehow feel a bit better I tried to run around a lot with the kids at the beach. This was most uncomfortable being heavy and unfit on a hot day.
I will try not to get McDonalds for the kids or for me.
I will try and make better choices before heading out the door
I will try and drink more water
I will try to make better choices
I will try to make better choices
I will try to make better bloody choices!!!!

Out with the old

Ok as I write this I have a card on my desk from Weight Watchers asking me to come back for just $1, a Step into Life card telling me of my closest exercise group, an empty bottle of water (which I should refill). I am eating a no fat yoghurt and a salada with cheese on it.

This time around I think I will try it alone. I seem to have an endless supply of weight watchers material & my new treadmill is finally arriving in the next hour.



For the second time this week I went through my wardrobe and took out all the 'fat' clothes to go to the Salvos. Alright not 'all' the fat clothes otherwise I would be left with nothing to wear. I refuse to buy new stuff in the next size. I think when there is a heap of clothes to wear we kid ourselves and hide away underneath the layers. 'All is okay as I still fit into this', even though its 3 sizes up from the healthier better looking me. I hope that by having a limited choice of clothes to wear may keep on track to wearing a smaller size.



Now for the kitchen...oh dear! I still have nibblies and snacky foods left from Christmas. Into a cardboard box goes the Bbq Shapes, chocolate royals, Tim Tams, Turkish Delight (oh goodbye sweet thing) out with the chocolate wafer sticks, packets of Minties & Fantales. I have to admit I did inhale two Fantales without even seeing the wrapper hit the bench! Cheezels gone, 2 jars of (the hardest one of all) Nutella out, many times I would dip the teaspoon in and eat straight from the jar. Drooling a little at the thought of it. Moving on.. The fridge - cheeses out, Coke Zero cans, frozen dinners, keeping the couple of weight watchers meals, box of Eskimo pie ice-creams out, cookie dough, yes cookie dough. You see I am guilty of taking it out of the freezer and eating it straight from the tub. Ugh.. weak. So now if I make the kids cookies I vow to always make them fresh. Chicken nuggets, fish fingers all gone.. Gotta say I feel a little sick looking at this box now, it says a lot to me about why I have ended up this way.



A friend came by today and left with my box of hip stretching, stomach bulging, chin tripling food. Aah now that I have cleaned out, it has to be time to hit the shops for better choices.

Day One 15kgs to go!

It is time to, as Dr. Phil says 'Get real'.
I don't consider myself a writer by any means but I can put words together enough to say, enough is enough. I am so tired of looking in the mirror and not seeing the person that I feel inside of me. No more excuses.